Finding where you fit in life isn’t always the easiest, smoothest, most comfortable feat. Often times it takes time, and that’s ok.
It’s ok if your first job isn’t your dream career, first church isn’t where you feel God is calling you to serve, or first boyfriend isn’t who you want to marry. Understanding where God is calling you and what he has for you is important and often comes through many seasons, waves, and changes. Yes, this can be uncomfortable, but I promise, it’s better to be temporarily uncomfortable than to force yourself into a position, situation, or relationship that is not right for you.
It’s better to be temporarily uncomfortable than to force yourself into a position, situation, or relationship that is not right for you.
Of course, as a disclaimer, I have to say that just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s not right. Often times God calls us to the hard things—the job that isn’t our passion, the friendship that seems to take more than it gives—because trials and challenges grow our character and strengthen our relationship with God.
So how do we know? How do we figure out if we’re forcing ourselves to fit in places we’re not supposed to be or if we are where God wants us? Use these tips to figure out where you fit:
I know this is the most “Christian” answer there is, and it may seem basic, but I believe it’s a good reminder. I know, often times when I’m stressed or worried or confused about something I tend to spend a lot more time thinking about the situation than praying about it. When the truth is, none of my thoughts will ever compare to God’s. And God’s will is far more important than my decisions.
For example, if you don’t know if you “fit” at your current job and are wondering if you should move on or ride it out, pray. When I’ve been in this situation, I’ve prayed like this: “God, if I’m supposed to stay, please give me peace about being here. If I’m supposed to leave please open doors so I can confidently step out in faith and in your will.” You may not get an answer right away, but going to God in prayer should always be the first step when figuring out where you fit.
Ask for the advice of those who know and love you.
And who know and love God. Talking with wise people who can give a loving, godly perspective is key. Sometimes we can’t see the truth about something when we’re in the situation. This tends to happen lot of times with relationships. Often times we get so invested and tend to ignore the red flags that other people can clearly see. If you are starting to feel like you don’t “fit” in your relationship, ask an outsider’s opinion.
But make sure they love you because if you know they love you, then you can be confident they want what is best for you. It is easy to get defensive when people start to speak the truth about a very personal situation, like a relationship. However, this openness, honesty, and new perspective of the other person may help you see things differently and better determine if you “fit” in the relationship.
Ask yourself: is it in line with my hopes and dreams for my future?
The Bible tells us that God directs our course in life. But it also tells us that first we plan our steps. Planning for your future is a beneficial thing to do. It keeps you focused on what’s important and moving in the right direction.
Think about your future – where you want to be, what you want to be doing, and who you want to be there – and look at your current situations. Then ask yourself: is what I’m doing now getting me closer to what I want to be doing in my future? Are my current relationships with people who I want in my future? Is this job going to help me get closer to my long-term career goals? Answer those questions (and others similar to them), then take it from there.
Sometimes we don’t realize how much we don’t fit into a particular situation until we branch out and experience something different – different opportunities, different people, different sights, smells, sounds. Branching out and trying new things will either give you confirmation that you are where you fit best or it will open your eyes to possibilities of places, things, and people that may be a better fit for your life.
I tried going to a church I thought I was supposed to attend, on and off for a couple of years, constantly trying to fit, even though I felt very uncomfortable and out of place. It wasn’t until I decided to try a smaller, more intimate church that I realized just how much I didn’t fit at the other church. There wasn’t anything wrong with the first church, and in fact, many people went and enjoyed it and knew it was right for them. But for me, I fit better somewhere else. But I never would have known that if I didn’t try something else. Don’t be afraid to try new things (which leads me to my last tip…)
Sometimes we stay where we don’t fit simply because we’re afraid to leave. Maybe it’s more comfortable having a steady income at a job that doesn’t feel right than to be financially wobbly for awhile before finding a better job for you. Or maybe you find it easier to stay in a relationship you know isn’t healthy than to start over from the beginning, first with being single, then with starting a new relationship. Maybe it’s scary to tell your friends you no longer want to spend your weekends partying, so you just go along with it even though you’d rather be spending your time elsewhere. Whatever you’re feeling, that doesn’t change the fact that God is with you every move you make.
So, if you don’t feel like you fit somewhere, I encourage you to be courageous, step out in faith, and trust God is going to take care of you and take care of the situation. It may not always be easy, but it will be worth it.
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