Meeting new people, establishing strong friendships, and maintaining those relationships takes work. You have to be bold, consistent, and persistent. Whether you’re meeting a Bumble friend in person for the first time or are looking for ways to go deeper in your current relationships, here are conversation starters for friends.
Questions to Ask a Friend
Open-ended questions are a great way to learn more about someone and keep the conversation flowing. You can ask both lighthearted and deep questions depending on how comfortable you are with each other. The deeper you go, the stronger your bond becomes. From surface-level to profound, here are great questions to ask a friend to get the conversation started, whether one-on-one or in a group setting.
- What books have you read that changed your life?
- What is a goal you set for yourself to accomplish this year? How’s it going?
- What is something that happened in your childhood that shaped who you are today?
- What is one of your greatest accomplishments?
- If you could do anything for the rest of your life (money not an issue), what would it be?
- What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?
- How do you deal with failure?
- What is one of your most favorite memories?
- What’s the worst/best advice you’ve given someone?
- What’s the worst/best advice someone has given you?
- What’s the worst/best present you’ve ever received and why?
- How do you feel about selfies?
- How do you feel about social media?
- What do you like most/least about yourself?
- What’s your definition of family?
- What does success mean to you, and have you achieved it?
- What keeps you up at night?
- Do you consider yourself a spiritual person? How so?
- Who was your first crush, and why?
- What do you believe is your purpose in life?
- What’s something not many people know about you?
- What did you want to be when you grew up? Did it change? Why or why not?
- What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
- What are you most grateful for right now?
- If you could be one age for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
- If you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?
Vulnerability is essential in a relationship… build trust by showing up and being open.
Tips for Using Conversation Starters with Friends
The above questions to ask a friend are great conversation starts to go deeper and get to know someone better. However, there’s more to developing a meaningful friendship than asking good questions. You also need to be an active participant in the conversation. Here are some ways to do that:
Listen Closely and Respond Appropriately
Having a list of conversation starters for friends is a great way to start a conversation. That doesn’t mean you need to make it through the entire list in one chat. In fact, I highly recommend you don’t because you don’t want the conversation to turn into what feels like an interrogation. To avoid that from happening, listen closely to your friend’s responses. And then respond to those responses. You may only need to use one question for an entire lunch because it might naturally evolve into a longer conversation. When you actively listen, you can appropriately respond and have a well-rounded chat from one question.
Share Your Answers, Too
You might even consider sharing them first to get the ball rolling. Vulnerability is essential in a relationship, but it can also feel a bit nerve-racking, especially in a new friendship. Build trust by showing up and being open. The deeper you go, the deeper your friend will feel comfortable going, too.
Make Room for Their Questions
You might not be the only one coming to the conversation with questions. So be sure to make space for your friend to ask their fair share of questions too. Answer honestly and authentically to improve the friendship from the start. If you’re uncomfortable with a question, ask your friend to answer first. Their vulnerability might help you feel more comfortable. If you simply don’t want to answer a question, say that! You can always come back to it at a later time.
Challenge Yourself to Use Conversation Starters for Friends
Now you have a list of questions to ask a friend and know how to start an engaging conversation. Next, it’s time to go out and give it a try. Ask a friend out for coffee or plan a lunch date. Making friends and maintaining relationships takes effort. If you’re looking for more tips on making friends, check out this blog post where I talk about the one thing you MUST DO to make friends.