Selfless love, support, and encouragement aren’t the easiest things to come by. And if we’re being honest, it isn’t the easiest thing to give either. However, having this as an active attribute in your romantic relationship is vital for the overall growth and happiness of both of you. Trust me, I’ve been in a relationship where this was not the case at all, and in fact the very opposite was true. Instead of selfless support and encouragement, pushing me closer to my goals and dreams, I was met with control and criticism. And out of fear, I’ve been the controlling, critical one as well. Now having this vital characteristic ever-present in my current relationship, I don’t know how I ever went without it – in my partner and in myself.
As you dive into these thoughts, consider the person you are dating, holding up your relationship against these considerations. And also consider yourself. There are no double standards here; what you desire in your partner, you need to be sure you exude as well.
Does He Have Your Best Interest in Action?
Not just in mind. It’s easy for someone to say they want the best for you but, when that “best” comes along, not support you or push you closer to experiencing it. Following up the claims with action can be hard, especially if it only benefits one person.
Recently I moved for a job, and it was a huge step in my life personally. And though I knew it was good and right for my life, a part of me didn’t want to make the move because of the changes it would cause in my relationship with my sweetie and my world in general. But him, seeing how good this was going to be for me, surprised me in the most reassuring ways.
I wouldn’t have been able to do it without his constant love, encouragement, and support both physically and emotionally. He selflessly kept pushing me toward this goal and doing everything he could along the way to help me achieve it, making the entire process go as smoothly as possible. Even though it meant the entire dynamic of our relationship would change as we headed straight into a long-distance relationship within weeks, he put my interest above his own.
I am so grateful for him and am eager to be able to return the favor when the time comes – to selflessly love, support, and sacrifice for him and the good of his life.
Is She Willing to Sacrifice So You Can Fulfill Your Dreams and Accomplish Your Goals?
It is easy and exciting when someone wants to do something to benefit their life that, at the same time, benefits yours. Maybe your significant other gets to travel for work and they are able to bring you along with them. OF COURSE, you’re going to encourage them to take the opportunity as you pack your luggage and tell your own job you’ll be away for a while. But what about when the person you love has been offered an amazing opportunity that’s far away? One that will take a lot more time and effort in the relationship and will change the overall dynamic of their life and your own? Do you still support them? Do they still encourage you?
Time, money, comfort, consistency – sometimes these things have to change in their amount or frequency, and it might not always benefit your partner. They may have to be the one who sacrifices their wants, needs, and desires for your betterment for the time being.
Is your partner willing to sacrifice for you, excitedly, without reminding you every five minutes about how hard or uncomfortable it is for them?
Are you? This is selfless support, and you need it if you are ever going to do anything big in your life.
Are They Focused on God’s Will or Their Own?
If your partner is only focused on fulfilling their own will for the relationship, or simply interested in getting their personal needs met without much consideration for yours, there’s a good chance they aren’t going to be super supportive when it comes to you following God’s call for your life, especially when it doesn’t explicitly benefit them. This is one reason it is so, so important to make sure you share a common belief foundation with your partner. With big decisions come big sacrifices and big changes. God’s call on your life is not always going to be easy or simple, and you need to be with someone who puts God’s will above their own, just as you need to be willing to do for them. It’s never a one-way street.
As you read this with someone in mind, someone may be reading it while thinking about their relationship with you. Always check yourself against what you desire in another person. I strive to be better for my sweetie every day, and I know he does the same for me. A good, healthy, successful relationship is one where each person is constantly doing their part to better themselves. Does he… does she… do you…?